I’m the first to offer help
with a smile
to anyone who may need it,
I’d even walk a mile.
I extend this hand
to friend or foe,
to anyone really,
even those I don’t know
because I know the struggle
of crying quietly
and sneaking around
to vomit silently.
I was careful
with my planning,
made sure no one was around
and had my reasoninig,
just in case I was found out.
I was there, in that position –
unhappy in so many ways –
but I was a girl with an addiction.
Ashamed, I was
but I felt like
my body was the only thing
I still had control of.
In a life where
I felt like I had no voice,
I did what they wanted
because I had no choice.
So I controlled
the only thing I could choose,
the things I put in my body,
I didn’t have much to lose.
So, I lost myself
to this disorder
I denied to have
because it gave
some semblance of order
in a life where I struggled
to be satisfied
with who I was
because no one was…
It took some time,
but I did it.
It took lots of help,
but it’s happened.
I was the girl
with an eating disorder.
Now, I am no longer.
Jynx Frostbyte 